Florida Day 8: Wednesday, October 25, 2006

And so this was the day we flew home. We had to be out of the apartment by 10 a.m., so we had breakfast at Starbucks and packed up. Then we drove to the airport in Fort Lauderdale and dropped off the rental car. Unfortunately we were so early that AirTran would not let us check our bags in yet (??!! what's up with that?) so we had to sit around for an hour and then check them in.

We grabbed lunch at the gate (pizza), and waited for our 2:14 p.m. flight, which was very smooth and uneventful. I love how AirTran has XM Satellite Radio for free in its planes. I got to listen to a bit of Channel 82--The System when I wasn't reading Hot Six.

Maryland welcomed us home with cooler temperatures than what we had gotten used to. We took the light rail home and mercifully found the house and our cars intact.

And so ends my chronicle of our Florida trip. I hope you enjoyed it.

Florida Day 7: Tuesday, October 24, 2006

We began the day with breakfast at Starbucks (they have food too) and set out for Flamingo Gardens in Davie. Beautiful place. The weather was COLD... only 50s or 60s...I didn't think South Florida could get so cold! Anyway, it was the perfect day to visit a wildlife sanctuary. We saw flamingoes (real ones, not plastic ones...Baltimore humor), all kinds of birds of prey, herons, alligators, box turtles, sea turtles, and a bobcat, just to name a few.

Following that, we didn't want to go all the way back to Weston to have lunch, so we had a "lunch" of fruit smoothies before heading to the beach. Oh my word. Ever see "The Amazing Race"? That's what getting to the beach was like. We had to get on the interstate, get off at Rt. 1, and struggle to find parking while the Stratus dinged at us, demanding more gas. Boy that car guzzled gas! Finally we found parking which we paid through the nose for, and bounded a few steps to the beach.

In process on the beach was a sandstorm. The sand was very coarse, like in Ocean City...not like the fine, smooth sand of Wildwood. And this coarse sand was constantly whipping around us in the strong winds and hitting us in the face. We had to weigh down our towels to keep them from blowing away. And there was only one other family on the beach near us. It was because of the Fort Lauderdale boat show, I believe, that there was so little parking available. We lay out for a while, but the sand was killing us. We each went into the turquoise water, but after maybe 30 feet there's this huge DROP that I dared not fall into, so I didn't go in that far. We left after about an hour and a half, convinced that Fort Lauderdale is overrated and that we preferred the beaches of Wildwood.

Upon returning to the apartment in Weston, MFP once again had a huge headache, so he took some ibuprofen and slept, while I showered and then enjoyed the pool again for a while. After several hours, we showered again and then had dinner at the Palm Grill (mmm!) again. (It really is a good restaurant.) We went back to the apartment, did some packing, and watched Kathy Griffin's comedy special on Bravo.

Florida Day 6: Monday, October 23, 2006

The whole of Monday morning was all about the second timeshare presentation which we had to attend to fulfill our obligation. OH...MY...WORD. The agent who gave it (I'll call her "Griffin") was one of these fortysomething Florida chicks whose skin reflects the fact that she has obviously spent too much time in the sun. Anyway, she kept us with her for THREE HOURS. And she was acting like she wanted to be our new best friend, chatting with us about her recent bout with cancer and what have you, and telling me how pretty my eyes were and all that. Puh. Our papers said the presentation was only supposed to be about 90 minutes, but she had us with her for THREE HOURS, like I said.

The real stinker, though, was the fact that I was starting to trust Griffin after I noticed the cross around her neck. I asked her if she was a Christian, and she said she was, and talked about all the people she had met on this job for whom she was praying. So I figured I could trust her. But when it was all over and she brought out her manager to try to coerce us into buying a timeshare, I noticed that while he was talking, Griffin slyly took the cross around her neck and slid it behind her back. Ha. Don't think I didn't notice that. And then she tried to make us feel guilty when we didn't buy, saying how she had spent all this time with us and stuff. Total BS. I honestly don't know how these people sleep at night. I really don't.

After that ordeal, we lunched at the Palm Grill, which had excellent food for very reasonable prices, and since it was late we went back to the apartment and hung out at the pool for the rest of the afternoon. Very relaxing...we needed it.

We had heard that there was to be karaoke in the social center that night, so after we showered, we headed there, but there was not a single person singing. We looked over the song list...all top 40, not a single classic rock or country song in the lot. So we left. We drove to a local mall which was HUGE, like Arundel Mills size...I think it was called Sawgrass Mills...and ate dinner at Subway, after which I convinced MFP to go shopping with me. I checked out the Ron Jon surf shop and bought a T-shirt; we checked out these denim miniskirts which MFP thought would look sexy on me but turned out to look like my big behind was stuffed into them. We then headed back to the apartment.

Florida Day 5: Sunday, October 22, 2006

After breakfast at Perkins, we got ready to leave, caught the end of my favorite movie, The Breakfast Club, on E! and checked out of our lovely condo. We drove to Calvary Chapel South Orlando and attended church there. The people were very friendly, and I was surprised by how young the pastor was...only about my age. After church ended around 12:30, we found I-95 and headed south for Fort Lauderdale.

(N.B. The only reason we ended up in Fort Lauderdale is that we originally were supposed to go to St. Pete's after Orlando, but the travel agency, due to the fact that not enough people chose to go there, told us they were sending us to Fort Lauderdale instead. St. Pete's would have been a lot closer...but, oh well...)

The long journey took about 4 1/2 hours, about what I expected. I was glad I had made arrangement to fly out of Ft. Lauderdale and not Orlando, so we wouldn't have to go back. Upon arriving at the place on our directions, we were greeted, given an appointment time for another timeshare presentation tomorrow (all together now: GROAN!) and given directions to our accomodations in the suburb of Weston, which was not "nearby" at all; put it to you this way, Weston is to Ft. Lauderdale as Hunt Valley is to downtown Baltimore. Upon arriving at the reception desk, we were AGAIN given directions to our hi-rise, which we got lost trying to find. (Anyone ever see The Amazing Race?)

By the time we got into our apartment in the hi-rise, we were EXHAUSTED and it was dinnertime. MFP had a huge headache, and I didn't have any ibuprofen left because I had my period in Orlando and had taken it all for my cramps. The apartment was okay, but not as nice as the Orlando condo. We decided to order pizza, which we ate in silence because MFP was hurting and in such a foul mood. Afterwards, we slept.

Florida Day 4: Saturday, October 21, 2006

After breakfast at Perkins, today was all about Epcot.

For those of you who have never been to Epcot, half of it is the Future Showcase and half is the World Showcase. The first thing MFP and I did was go on the Test Track, which was so much fun. We saw a bunch of futuristic exhibits (including cars, which MFP loved, of course) and I tried to send a photo postcard electronically to "Nicole" back in Maryland, but of course I screwed up her email address. I'm too used to just clicking on names in Hotmail.

We then hit the World Showcase, which has no rides but has pavilions representing different countries in the world. My favorite was the German pavilion, which looks like an old-fashioned German town and which MFP and I ate lunch in, at a German buffet restaurant that was really cool. Later we indulged in some chocolate mousse at the French pavilion, and checked out all of the other ones, including but not limited to Italy, Morocco, Norway (where I bought a box of chocolate mint cookies), Japan, China, the United States*, and last but not least, Canada. At the Canadian pavilion I struck up a conversation with the girls who worked there, who were from Quebec. I spoke to them in French and they thought it was so cool. Then they had me sing "O Canada" with them in French, and when I did, they gave me a Disney World certificate. Ha ha! Poor MFP was embarrassed, I think! :)

*At the American History show inside the US pavilion, we had to sit next to a large group of drunk college students who were of the vexing variety. Lots of talking during the show. I wanted to strangle them... Too much wine from the different nations, I think.

Oh, and the "Honey, I Shrunk the Audience" 3-D show was really cool.

We got lost on the way home, but made it to Subway for a dinner accompanied by too-loud Top 40 music, then went back to the condo.

Florida Day 3: Friday, October 20, 2006

Today was all about Disney-MGM Studios.

The first thing I did was ride the Aerosmith Rock 'n' Rollercoaster, which MFP would not ride with me. He was so sweet and patient, waiting for me while I waited in an hour-long line to ride it. I sat in the very front of the rollercoaster with another woman whose hubby was also coaster-phobic...that was cool. It is an AWESOME rollercoaster, and it is totally indoors in the dark, so you don't know when you are going upside down.

Another thing we partook in was the Lights, Motors, Action! stunt show, where they show you how they choreograph car chase scenes in the movies, and they do them right in front of you. Very cool...and very LOUD! Let's see...what else did we do? We ate at the Sci-Fi Dine-In Theater, where the tables are shaped like cars and you sit in front of a screen showing cartoons and previews of old '50s sci-fi movies...very fun. We saw films and exhibits on Disney animation and the life and dream of Walt Disney himself. We went on the Great Movie Ride (where MFP's cell phone rang...ha ha) and on the Backlot Tour. And we saw Mickey and Minnie and other classic characters. I bought myself a Walt Disney World keychain and a lanyard pin for "Gloria" back in Glen Burnie.

I would recommend Disney-MGM studios to anyone. We loved it.

After going back to the condo to shower, we drove east on US 192 until we found the Checkers in front of Old Town, where we ate. Old Town kind of creeped me out. Lots of shady-looking people there, I thought.

I slept soundly, dreaming crazy dreams involving being on "Survivor" with two friends.

Day 2: Thursday, October 19, 2006

We woke up very early to attend the first of the not-fun part of our trip: the TIMESHARE PRESENTATIONS!! AAUGH! For now I'll refrain from saying what I think of the people who run these, but I will say that I do not know how they sleep at night. The 23-year-old who showed us the condos was super nice and pretended that he wanted to be our new best friend, and then brought out manager after manager to pressure us BEYOND BELIEF into buying. Some of these wastes of sperm and eggs were even nervy enough to say, "Well, you had the money to vacation here now, didn't you?" when we explained that buying a timeshare wasn't in our financial picture. Man, I would love to staple an American flag to their butts and mail them to Iraq.

Thankfully, that was over in the late morning, and we went back to our condo and had an early lunch (leftovers from Margaritaville), changed, and set out for Disney's Typhoon Lagoon, which we had some trouble finding once we reached the Disney property but found in due time. Typhoon Lagoon's main feature is its wave pool, across which a huge wave goes every five minutes or so, carrying everyone along with it. At other times, smaller waves go continually across the water. So much fun! Ha--I even had a "wardrobe malfunction" the first time a wave carried me. MFP and I didn't want to leave our stuff alone on the chairs, so we took turns going into the wave pool. Then I got into an inner tube and rode the lazy river around the perimeter of the park. Also fun. The only thing that stunk was that we forgot to bring our sunblock there, so we got a little roasted. We stayed until the park closed.

At the condo we showered and I dressed up for a night out at Pleasure Island. We drove to Downtown Disney, got into Pleasure Island and had dinner at an Irish pub (Raglan Road, I think, was the name) where there was a live Irish band and a Riverdance-type dancer. Very fun. Then we hit the nightclubs. The first club we went to was a trance-techno club, and their music was really great, but there were not that many people there so we left after some drinks and dancing. Then we went to a rock club where we played pool (MFP beat me of course--I stink at pool) and videogames and pinball while a cover band rocked the house. We then went to a retro-'70s and '80s club, but the dance floor was so crowded we couldn't get onto it. So after a drink apiece, we headed out. By the time we got back to the condo it was after midnight, and I slept soundly.